CRUSHING CRASHING ATOM-SMASHING

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Character: Murasakibara, Atsushi
Series: Kuroko no Basuke
Character Age: 16
Canon: Teikou Middle School wasn’t just the home of an impressive basketball team, touting over 100 members and several successive championship wins, but an impressive team of basketball players: the Generation of Miracles. Though all six members graduated and went to separate high schools, their legacy remains. Each player is known as a genius, and assumed to be pretty much unstoppable on the court. Of course, it’s the protag team’s job to prove that assumption wrong, but this app isn’t about any of them!

Murasakibara is one of the esteemed Generation of Miracles, boasting an impressive height of 208 cm with the speed and power to back it up, you’d think he’d be a terrifying powerhouse on court. Except. Not. Much to the dismay of his fellow players, Murasakibara has zero enthusiasm for basketball, and refuses to do anything that requires too much effort, and would rather laze around eating junk food. In fact, Murasakibara always has sweets and junk food on the brain, and his undue fondness for fatty foods is more of a priority than basketball. Sugar addiction aside, Murasakibara is unperturbed, easy-going, and an overgrown child; he rarely takes anything seriously and often acts half his age (and talks like it, too; what, with stretching out some of his words liiiike thiiiis otherwise just being an annoying lazy speaker). And though he claims he doesn’t care about it, Murasakibara really is attached to basketball, despite his lack of zeal.

Sample Entry:

Tell us about yourself in a few words.
If it’s only a few, I guess I can... Ummm, I’m Murasakibara Atsushi, and my favorite foods are potato chips, umaibou, chocolate, and squeeze ice cream, though I like other things too.

One, two, three... That was way more than a few words, so I’m done with this question, right? Neeext.

Why are you joining our happy community?
To be honest, I didn’t reaaaaally wanna come here, traveling’s really troublesome, but I heard the mess hall’s really good, and all I needed to do was answer some survey to come, sooo... Oh, I was also told that I’d get some candy after the survey. I’m kinda feeling more like potato chips now though, so can I have those instead?

Would you be able to dispose of the flesh of the undead? How?
Ehhh? That’s gross. Don’t ask questions like that. But I guess I’d put it in the trash can. Ah, but if there’s no gloves nearby, I’d make someone else do it. Or maybe I’d make someone else do it anyway... My hands are usually pretty full, you see.

What do you expect from your camp experience?
S’mores. I’ve made some before, in a microwave, but it just wasn’t the same... And s’mores are supposed to be an authentic camping experience, right? Mmmm, but I don’t wanna go camping to make s’mores. Could the fire be set up outside the cabins or something...? I don’t wanna do it, though. Someone else can.

Do you think you are good in a crisis? Why?
I guess it depends on the crisis? Normal things don’t really bother me, ‘cause I don’t really care that much. Plus, it’s kind of funny to see people freak out over really trivial things. Other crises... Umm... In basketball there pretty much aren’t any, since no one lets the other team score any points anyway, so pass... And I guess sometimes people aren’t paying attention and they make me drop my snacks when they bump into me. That makes me really mad. So I guess I’m good at handling crises, since I always make them regret it.

What do you expect from the campers here?
Ehhh... I dunno. Not to form a long line at the mess hall, I guess? It’s really hard to cut in line when you’re really tall, so it’s pretty inconsiderate. If I have to have roommates, they also have to be considerate, too. If they wake up before 12 pm and make a lot of noise, I get really grouchy, you know? This is supposed to be a vacation, so I wanna sleep in. If I have to lock them out of the cabin so I can sleep, it wouldn’t be my fault at aaaaall.

If you could get away with committing one crime and suffer absolutely no consequences, what would you do and why?
A crime... Maybe robbing a candy store... I’ve always wanted to fill my room with candy, it’d be a lot of fun, I bet. Eh, but, if I stole all a store’s candy, then they’d probably lose a lot of money, right? And they probably couldn’t afford to restock, so they’d have to close down... Which means I couldn’t get more candy later, and I’d have to find a store that’s further away... Hmmm... That sounds like a huge pain. Don’t feel like doing it. So I probably wouldn’t commit any crime. It’s not worth it.

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